Wednesday, January 21, 2009

what you wish for

Hey there. Miss me? What do you mean you were too busy? Oh, come on, just because history was being made, greatness redefined and the world peace pendulum swinging wildly from extreme to extreme...

It has been a quite a week hasn't it?
Is it just me, or did the world shift on its axis a little? No, I know the answer to that. It wasn't just me.

That speech! that benediction!
That an elected leader of that nation said to his electorate that his nation needs to learn to consume the world's resources more responsibly? That he said some of the hard things that many of us concerned citizens of the planet have been grumbling about, worrying about for at least a decade?
Its so cool.

Yeah, he'll do. Well done, you guys, for choosing this one.
We wished and you wished, and they wished, and it came to pass.
Maybe its a case of - this time, everyone was very, very careful what they wished for, and this time it paid off.

So I've been a slacker blogger. Ever since Fush and Chips posted that manifesto about slow blogging, I've been thinking, about what I'm doing here and do I really have to post if I don't really have anything to say?

Actually, I don't need to blog at the moment, because Reya of the Gold Puppy always says whats in my head, and says it first. Like her post of today.

Seriously though. I started this thing in May last year, and I started it because I was angry. It was the time of the horrific xenophobic attacks in urban South Africa, and I was bursting with stuff that I wanted to say, not knowing at all who I was saying it to. Trying to undo writers' block - the kind where you have too much to say. (Writer's backlog. backblog. oh shhhh) Then I met all these incredible, warm, interested blogmates. I didn't quite expect that. Beautiful.

But suddenly I'm like, uh? How did I get here? What am I doing here? Random confessions? Navel gazing? A showcase for writing snippets that don't have a home? A marketing device? Oh my Gaaad! She has the blogger ID crisis!!! Its doing the rounds. Miranda has it, Janelle has it. All a question of scale, you see. The worker ants are restless, and the giant aardvark is coming with its big sticky tongue of oblivion.

What. is. she. on about?

I started this as a place to launch some spells, to call back the long skirted ladies of the dim and watery places (Muses, to you). Recognising some deep fertile connection between wild spaces and creative impulse, I wanted a virtual alter where I could burn some incense. Lacking a stage, a rehearsal space, I needed a sanctified zone where I could pour all my randomings. Hmmm. But now, ever restless, ever discontent with what is enough, I neeed mooooore! So I'm starting a sister blog - one that deals strictly with matters of a professional and a livelihood nature. One with a bit more focus, you understand. To go with the fact that I'm, er, starting a business. Watch this space. Actually, watch the space next door. Oh sod it, I'll send you there when there's something to read.

And in other news related to rituals gone awry and wishes with suprises attached, I attempted some clumsy rain dances for our Arusha cousins. In my garden the other night. The kind where you run outside and thank the big soggy clouds for bequeathing you with their blessings, and then try to waft some of it northeast to where Janelle and Miranda suffocate under empty white skies. The kind where you sort of take a wild stab and point the clouds in the general direction of the Ngorobob hill...several thousand kilometres away.

The next day, as I was busy cramming for this EQ course that I am in the middle of teaching (yes, this missive comes to you from ....drumroll... Witbank...client is BHP Billington. Later, I explain later.) SO there I was, a whirl of nerves and a trial of errors, sitting at my computer screen, swearing at powerpoint coz I really wanna be blogging... when I hear our tenant calling me with an edge of urgency in his voice. Irritable, I pop my head out the back door.
"Tamara, we have a disaster."
She thinks: Disaster? I'll show you a blerry disaster - wha? Water? Flood? Huh?

Turns out their geyser burst. Two inches of water on the carpet, and they come home to a spaniel standing on the coffee table to keep her feet dry. Ok, so that's their problem. My problem, is that the water is floowwwing, not dripping but flowing, through a crack in the floor that separates their flat from the downstairs garage, where MY BOOKS ARE GETTING WET!!! Boxes and boxes of the Zambian ceremony book that I published last year, and which is stored in my garage. A thousand copies of it!!! AAAAHHHHHHH!

Oh yeah, I knew this Mercury retrograde still had a suprise or two in store for me.

Luckily, I ripped open the wet cardboard on the outside and managed to salvage most of them before the seep got in. Working feverishly to haul heavy boxes out in the pre-storm heat.

So, sorry Janelle. I er, didn't manage to send the rain very far.

Aaaah. Peace, y'all.
Love and too many fussy cushions, from a B & B in Mpumalanga.

Where there is plenty of rain.


Lori ann said...

Save the books!! And write about anything you like Tam, it's all good.
Blogging identity crisis! It does seem there is a lot of it going around!

Janelle said...

yeah stop slacking will ya! and send rain pronto, for gods sake....

lakeviewer said...

You have a natural rhythm and style that seems to just flow with wit and verve. Thank you for the compliment about having selected a good president. Those of us who worked hard to get him elected knew all along he was the real deal.

Miranda said...

good idea sis, to start another one and not to stop. Blogging. Just love your writing and I'm not the only one.

I just love the vision of the spaniel on the table. hahahaha! Glad the books were okay.

Greet Witbank, ja?

Anonymous said...

Witbank hey? I went there once.

Well, whatever you decide, another blog or just everything in this one, keep writing it. It's all good with your view of things and unique style of writing that I also enjoy.

Angela said...

No Tammy, don`t stop! And your effort to bring rain to Janelle`s, even though not QUITE accomplished, will count for good karma! Good will always creates good! Only somewhere else, maybe (in Washington, perhaps). But count on us as your readers, we enjoy even your dark and tangled thoughts. We all know them, but can`t put them so well...

family affairs said...

Next time you do your rain dance you will send that water a little bit further....Lx

Reya Mellicker said...

Oh no! Your books? That's bad. Wishing dryness for your house, much rain headed in Janelle's direction.

You always say what's in my head, too, like that comment about how you hoped people wouldn't trash the mall in the midst of the inauguration. Of course they did though they were much more polite than the people who come for demonstrations who always leave piles of trash and old signs everywhere. They would never behave so badly in their own neighborhoods, but here, they're ready to chuck the 'save the planet' signs in the middle of the lawn, mindless that someone else has to pick them up.

The blog blahs? It's hormonal. Post when you feel like it, otherwise, don't.

Your writing, your view of the world, your thoughts and the things that happen in your life are always of GREAT interest to me. I still read that post, "Morning Spoor" over and over. Others, too. Your writing feeds me.

But ... not trying to lay a big guilt trip on you. Write when you want. OK?

Jeannie said...

Rain gods are notoriously fickle, but that's ridiculous. You'd think the godling could get the moisture further north than that!

I so share your thoughts on the blog drought - as Kwazulu Natal gets greener and greener and the grass in my garden gets higher and higher, my blog drought sets in for the long haul.

The silver lining is that I'm writing stories again. Oh, and possibly setting up a butterfly breeding zone in the back yard..unless I have better luck than you in getting the rain to move to Ngorobob.

Good Luck with the new blog - I always enjoy your writing. Ha! Just noticed that the word verification is morperca - hopefully what the new, business oriented blog will bring you :-)

Tessa said...

Yikes, now you're making me wonder why I blog. Hmmmm, another story, another day...mebbe.

Oh, please, please don't stop blogging your blogs - you so often untangle our tangles with your ability to paint pictures with your words and make them vibrantly alive.

No pressure, though...

Elizabeth Jansen van Vuuren said...

In the voice of T-Bag (including the veiled threat):
Now you just keep on chasing them muses and don't let no doubtful questions be trippin' ya up.
This here blog you started is much bigger than you now, and a faithful reminder to us all that blogs don't have to be soulless and bland.
OK I've watched a LOT of Prison Break in the last two days and all my dreams and thoughts are infested.
But truly, don't worry, as you know sticking with something usually has good results. Lots of love.

tam said...

Dearests! I did not make myself clear. Late night blog posting after a gruelling day of facilitation, plus the headiness of the last few days.

What I meant was - I am starting another one AS WELL! A sister blog, a spot next door. So that this one can be dedicated to the muse songs, and the other one (I hope) will be a space for a bit more of a consistent identity and a bit more focus.

Lori, thanks for that reassurance.

Janelle - hope I don't have to resort to Tonga rain rituals -slaughter a black chicken, etc.

Lakeviewer, that is an awesome compliment, thank you! No-one's ever told me I have natural rhythm before!

Miranda, it is funny, especially if you know that spaniel!

Rob, I appreciate the encouragement. Fragile egos, we writers have, y'know.

Angela, thanks, that's great affirmation! 'dark and tangled' - oh yeah, plenty where that came from.

FA - lets just hope its not into the bedroom next!

Reya, I love that your comments are always like a continued conversation. Save the planet signs as litter is hilarious. My writing feeds you? wow.

Ah, Jeannie, the stories must take priority! I think its true what all these lovelies have indicated - write when and what you like.

Tessa, your blog was one of the ones that got me thinking I wish I had more of a clear identity - I just love your pics, your style, the whole feel of your spot.

And dear Liz, thank you! You've just reminded me of the flagging spirit around the book writing. Thanks so much. And an 'encouragement' from T-bag is just plain scary!

I'm not going anywhere. I may be less frequent, though, while these other plots are hatched.

SO much love and thanks, all of ya. What generous spirits you are.

tam said...

I think its also about the times, the way Mr Obama has already inspired people across the globe to rethink, re-envision, re-assess and re-act! To take stock of what we can do with less, how we can apply ourselves more effectively.
Heyo - I feel a post coming on!

Janelle said...

of course i meant tonga rain dances, silly. and i thought i had my pesky blogging identity well in tact. oh well. loving these fussy cushions! when are you going to come to arusha....? honeymoon? hah! xxx j

karen said...

hi Tam! love your writing, and anything you have to say... you always have such a different outlook on life! :-)

tam said...

oops more imprecision! sorry, Janelle, you are right, it was not ID you complained of, but a kind of drying up. clearly you are over that. sorry dear.

Thanks, Karen.
Anytime any of you want to say nice things, know that they are much appreciated here!!

Anonymous said...

Stumbled upon this blog via The Golden Puppy (thanks again!!) and couldn't help loving it. You write great.
Full of personality.
And even though a lot has been said before you, that doesn't mean that it hasn't been preached upon enough. Say your opinion, voice your words, and keep in mind the fellow muses out there. ;)