Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Is that you out there? Can you see me?

Hey I remember this place! I dreamed of something just like it once. There were words and stories. Friends dropped in to visit. I used to have a place like this. It's all coming back to me.

And then I was inarticulately pregnant, for months on end. No words to spare except for the ones needed for work, and that was a stretch. I was teaching applied drama, up in an airy sunlit room on the 15th floor of a building in town. I barely turned my computer on, for, well months, really. A heavy teaching schedule. A sweet collection of young facilitator-dramatists in the making. We played games and had earnest chats about theatre for development and character development and visual metaphor. And they watched my belly grow. And the games got less energetic. And the distance from sitting cross legged on the floor to standing on the feet got further and further. And the struggle to find parking close enough to my teaching venue made me more and more foul-mouthed.

Until one day it was over. It stopped, just like that. No more teaching. At 36 weeks, I believe it was. Though the pile of marking still scowls at me from my desk. But here I am, 38 weeks pregnant and a lot of blogs to catch up on, aside from my own. (Why did I start another one? What was that all about?) And a big restless baby twisting and turning like a twisty turny thing within me, trying to trampoline off my bladder to kick my solar plexus.

And there it is, the dull desire to write, which was thudding against my cortex like a Should knot, suddenly untangling into actual words again. Even sentences. Even in a sequence and everything.

Hello everyone. Are we still friends?

11 comments:

Miranda said...

YES!!!!!!!! Welcome back, we've MISSED you!

Shiny said...

Yippeeeeeeee! You're back! And 38 weeks? Good grief, where did the time go? Please, please, we want to see a picture. What fun. And Miranda will be an Auntie, which is the best thing in the world. And you'll be a mom which, I suspect, is pretty damn amazing too. What fun xx

Val said...

HURRAH! good to have you back in blogland :)
how is the bump? looking forward to hearing all xxV

word veri - compress ....

Rob G said...

Hello? Who are you? Why are you on my computer?......Oh, now I remember!

Welcome back to the blogosphere. Nice to know what's been keeping you busy and very keen to know how the next few weeks treat you and then...the big news!

Take care.

Reya Mellicker said...

Yep, we are still friends. Yes, yes yes yes yes!

This is beautiful - of course! Of course.

Go off on your adventures anytime, for as long as you like. Come back only when you feel like it, like now for instance.

Yay!!

Janelle said...

yip! hip hip hoorah! nice to read you again sweet tam....38 weeks...so not long to go now eh? WOW! can;t WAIT...xxxj

tam said...

Well, it is actually good to be back too. I feel as if some fog has cleared.

Shiny, I already love being an aunty, even tho I never see my gorgeous niece. Yes, I'll get some pics up in due course.

Val, thanks, I'm doing well, though feeling rather hippo-like. Compress is very veri. Especially around the bladder. Ouf. Am also posting on the other one, so pop over there too if you want.

Rob, I'll do my best to keep some posts coming before the biggest post of my life arrives...

Reya, that's good to know. Now I'm off to catch up on yours and many more!

Janella, it is sooooo soooon, can you blieve it?

Mud in the City said...

Missed you!!

Angela said...

Maybe next Sunday, Tam? It sounds like it will be a Sunday Lucky Child! All my blessings to the three of you (Mom, Dad and Sweetheart). And yes, we missed you, but we understood.
Now go and be on the lookout for your great post to come. It is such an adventure! Much love from Great-Auntie Geli

Spiny Marshmallow said...

Hellooooooo how fantastic to drop in and visit again = what a nice post to read

Freya said...

Need you even ask really? :D. We missed you. Welcome back!