Wednesday, February 11, 2009

the beans, spilled

Ok ok! I didn't mean to start something.
Here it is then.

We're getting married.

Thank you.

Aah, sweet, isn't it?

Truly though, its been a long road to this point. For those of you that know me, or who have been reading at this address for a while, you may have picked up that this is not a whirlwind romance that has resulted in the sudden flowering of nuptials. Oh no. Me and this boy, we bin at it for some time. We met, oh, about 13 years ago, and yes, I 'knew' instantly that this one was different, this one was worth fighting for. And boy did we. Oh yes. We have already been through sickness, health, riches and poverty, better and worse. We have done the break-ups and the make-ups and the separating out of books and photos and the merging of them again. We have lived at ten different addresses. We thought its about time our mums met.

Seriously. I never thought of myself as the marrying type. Perhaps I defined myself too strongly as the opposite. Fiercely independent and all that blah. Perhaps I didn't have any really good role models for successful marriages. But then again, I think we have transformed our shit into something golden. Something quite workable. And we wanted to celebrate that. And then we realised that we actually both believe in rituals and ceremonies, and so it grew. And grew.

So we've set a date and its bloody soon, and I am being asked questions like “what's your colour scheme?” (er... its white innit?). And the guest list grows tentacles. And I will no doubt write more on the matter. (Please, tell me if you feel nauseated by it all.) But I have discovered that everybody loves a wedding. And so it goes.

There. That's the beans.


Lori ann said...

Its sounds absolutely whirlwind and romantic and lovely and OOOH how exciting!!!


would you like to borrow my dress??? it's only 3 years old!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


love love,

family affairs said...

That is so lovely - great news - you're right we do all love a wedding AND it's all happening at the moment in blogland...babies, weddings, etc. Lx

Tessa said...

TAM! Flinging kisses at you from over here to over there! Congratulations and jubilations. Having read about the adventures you and he have on your way to this happy culmination, I think this little Eskimo love song is perfect. (It worked for Bwana and me....we've got 2 gorgeous daughters and twenty something years of marriage to prove it!)

You are my husband, you are my wife
My feet shall run because of you
My feet dance because of you
My heart shall beat because of you
My eyes see because of you
My mind thinks because of you
And I shall love, because of you.

Happy, happy days, Tam!

Tessa said...

Sudden thought. If you feel like it, pop over to and chose a painting to hang in the loo as a wedding pressy. My email addy is on my blog.

Shiny said...

Woohooo! Congratulations. What fun and what an astounding year full of fabulous announcements it's been. More champagne I say, more champagne!
Love, Briony x

Angela said...

Whoopee, Tam and B. Hey, that makes you my nephew-in-law, or as Lori says: -in-love, doesn`t it? Welcome in the wide-spread family! WHEN is the date? - Aaah, weddings. Annika`s was so beautiful. They even had a dancer from the Tonga islands (late at night), and the ladies all wore hats!

fush and chips said...

Hurrah! With knobs on!

Marriage is happy news.

Reya Mellicker said...

Nauseated? Anything but!

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !!!

What's "the marrying type" anyway??

I'm so happy for both of you, and for your whole family. Weddings are a wonderful generator of good vibes that radiate out to all concerned, even those of us cheering for you from so far away.

Excellent beans. Thanks for spilling them.

and love,

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo! Happy news. Never did think much of marriage for ever so long, being kinda excluded, then we could and we did and it was good, is good. Congrats to you and him wot makes you happy.

Janelle said...

nauseated? NAUSEATED? au contraire black adder...this is startlingly great news! we LOOOOVVVEEEE weddings. who doesn't? just best best news (even though i knew a while back) just expressing it here. lovely lovely. loving you and b together forever. x x x j

tam said...

Aaah, Lori, it is exciting, yes! thanks, and a great offer about the dress, I wonder if it would fit?

Thanks, FA - yes, its all milestones and announcements around here!

Tessa, what an amazingly generous offer, honestly! But I insist on an exchange: I will send you a copy of my book on Zambian ceremonies. I have a sense you will love it. Oh, and I love the Eskimo song!

Shiny Briony! I can't wait to see you. If I'm reading the clues and hints correctly your sister has exciting news indeed.

Geli, I have sent you an email. Annika's wedding sounds awesome. Yes, I will insist on fine hats.

Thanks Fush! Knobs, eh?

Thanks Reya! I think I read too much Jane Austen as a teenager, and then too much hardcore feminist theory later on! You're right about hte way it generates good vibes tho.

And Rob, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who had a "long engagement" (That Austen again)

Thanks Janelle. Well, you're not nauseated noooow, but after the umpteenth post about overlays and bouquets you might be. No, just kidding. I'm glad to see the back of my cynical teenage beliefs. Embracing the schmaltz, bring it on, yeah!!!!

Now, do I get to wear red?

Angela said...

I wrote you back!

Elizabeth Jansen van Vuuren said...

Three cheers, lots of cheers in fact! Having been SO lucky to have lived with the two of you behind the same fence for a while, I can attest that your joint vibe is something golden, not just for you but also for the people around you.

Looking forward to seeing the two of you in combination for many many years to come.

tam said...

Thank you Liz, that means a lot!

Jeannie said...

Congratulations! That is wonderful news! I for one will certainly not be bored by any wedding talk :-)

Val said...

whoa Tam I only just saw this one! what lovely news - and yes everyone loves weddings births happy occasions ... i hope you enjoy every moment of the big day and do tell all about plans etc - not possible to be boring!!! be happy forever - both of you xxx