Friday, October 16, 2009



It's not what you do it's
the way that you do it
Its not what you do, its
the way that you do it,
that's what gets results...

is what's been lilting through my head lately.

So many things
So many things

Yeah, I have a Life, Haha
But I also have a
Back Log

and that's bad news for me. Coz when I have a Back Log (yes, its as nasty as it sounds, with just as nasty a stink to it), is when I get realllllly slow. Like I just shut down. There's too much to do, from too long ago, and so I just pedal down, and go into rebellious mode.

Oh. I don't even know where to start.
Like, stuff from the wedding. April. No, I can't even. Photos, thankyous, unfinished business.. oooh, hang your head, lady.

Like, Marking. Student essays. Oh, tell me, what is the real difference between a 65 and a 70 and why should I strike my pen in either of these directions?

Like, Tax. I can't even. I shan't. I shush. I must.

Like, the state my office is in.
I dream of a warehouse in Doornfontein. Like a Faaarm in Aaaafrikaaaa? Like that. A loft, a studio, a spacious old warehouse downtown. A room of one's own. I have one, you know. It's just that, I'm spoilt. I want triple volume. I wish it to be a rehearsal space too. And a space to build models (as in, scale models for theatre designs) and a space to put a lot of books, and like Dave Eggars, for it to be a space where kids come and read, and in the background we (me and my whoevers) are busy making Stuff, man, like, plays and books and stuff. Y'know? Like that.

Like, I have this list of Unfinished Fiction. You wanna see it? Sies man, it hurts. I'm going to put it up here, why? Because its 2 in the morning and its brinkmanship and there is not enough at stake, so here we go -
What I am (still) busy with:

Kestral the novel

Thin Air the play

The Atlantis Papers – letters from an ageing planet

Captions for photographs that don't exist (A memoir of sorts - from 2 sisters)

Road movie ( a short movie in sms time)

Zambezi play

Susi and Chuma ( a play, part of a trilogy about David Livingstone)

Unsigned: some poems

The above are in various states of finishedness. Some nearly, some not even close.

I'm not in a squeeze about them, its more like a slow unfolding. But some of them are old, and are getting that whiff about them. They need to be aired. Perhaps one of you could help? I need
a) someone to kick my ass and hold me to a few promises,
b) someone who will give me honest to goodness true fair feedback (family members need not apply)
c) some-one who knows someone who knows someone who can get the dem things in print.
d) Or, someone who can, if its necessary, tell me gently but firmly that I must go back to the writing desk and I'm just nowhere near ready.

Well, I'm not, you know. But by December I will be.
And so will my dem tax return!!!


The Bug said...

I don't think I'm the someone to help you (I could tell you if I like it, but not why or help you change it if I don't like it. I'm useless that way). But I have to say I like the way you express your feeling of overwhelm!

I've been rafting on the Zambezi! Which not nearly as interesting here in blog world - but is quite fascinating in my Ohio world...

Angela said...

I am family, so I`m out? But I want to say you are by no means unnormal. Most people I know are the same way (including family, tehee, older ones). Just cheer up my gal, and focus on only one thing. The one you like best (not tax, apparently).

Miranda said...

you invented multitasking

Lori ann said...

Oh dear that's alot of stuff. Well, Geli's right do one thing at a time, when I give something my full attention it feels satisfying when its complete.

word veri: demlag, haha, that's what dem do, they lag.

tam said...

Bug, Zambezi rafting is way cool and scary and interesting.

Angela, you are right again, one thing at a time, you'd think it would be simple, but... Miranda... I invented it? Does that mean i can rest now?

Shiny said...

Oh, me too! I am, also turning around and around in the midst of a pile of Things to Do. But have Better Things to Do, so I'm doing those instead. I would love to read your stuff but I am by no means qualified, and am shite at giving any kind of useful advice... You have so many things going, you clever thing x

karen said...

Wow, I'm the last one to offer any advice here, as you sound just like me!! I find deadlines are the only thing that get me to finish anything.. All your projects sound amazing, good luck!